MORNING INCIDENT AND AN INCIDENT REPORT

Apparently, Zoe wanted to read some books this morning. And, apparently, I wasn't being very cooperative.

In other news, Zoe was sent home from school with her first "incident report." It's all starting... karma coming back to kick me in the ass for all the trouble I gave my parents. Here's what the report said:

Child's name: Zoe
Date: 10/12/06
Location of accident: By the foam steps in the ABC room
Time: 10:45 a.m.
Staff in attendance: Rachel and Debbie
Complete details: While playing with a friend on the foam steps, Zoe leaned over and bit her friend.
First aid given: None

Thankfully, the phrases "lewd and lascivious" or "resisting arrest" do not appear anywhere on the report.

The whole thing makes me laugh. Maybe I'm not a very good father. Sonja, on the other hand, called Debbie to chat about the incident. She was assured it was very out-of-character for our "wonderful" (her word, not ours) daughter.

OUR NOT-QUITE-TODDLING TODDLER

Meet Zoe's new classmates. We'd introduce you, but we're not quite sure of anybody's name just yet. For now we're referring to them as (clockwise, from top): "The Cute Blonde Girl," "Are You Sure That's A Girl?" and "Damn, That Kid's Too Big." A few others, most notably "He's Too Big, Too" and "Jesus, How Old Is That Kid? 7?" aren't pictured.

Today was Zoe's first day in the toddler room at daycare. She was immediately surrounded by kids this morning, each calling her name and creeping closer and closer until she looked like the quarterback in a huddle (a quarterback that for some reason decided to sit down while calling the play for her group of behemoth lineman, that is).

I assume that's how they all greet each other every morning. Still, it was very reassuring to see the other kids accept her so willingly. Excitedly, in fact. But if our daughter is anything like her parents, she'll be asking them to respect her personal space very soon.

Reports were that she mostly had a lot of fun -- as she had been during her regular visits to the room leading up to today's official switch -- but did get a little overwhelmed a couple times. She was granted some "Miss Janet time" in the baby room. Zoe loves Miss Janet. Miss Janet loves Zoe. So we're really glad Miss Janet is so willing to help make Zoe's transition is an easy one.

RITUALISTIC SCARRING OR DAYCARE? HMMMM.

Some cultures tattoo, brand, pierce or otherwise intentionally scar their children. Horrifying? Well, those same cultures would be equally horrified to know we leave our children with strangers for eight hours a day.

At least their rituals invoke ancient lineage, display bravery and attract potential mates. Our ritual allows us to lease two vehicles, pay a mortgage on an exorbitantly priced house and otherwise continue to claw our way out of debt. You know... really important stuff.

Daycare started today. It wasn't a good day.