I commented to Sonja one day that we could subsist on the food our children waste. Which got me thinking … why not test that hypothesis? And, if it works, turn it into the rage diet du jour.
Move over Dr. Atkins, South Beach and cabbage soup, The Kids’ Leftovers Diet is about to take the world by storm. Not only can you lose weight by reducing caloric intake, you also save a considerable amount of money in these tough economic times. Oprah should be calling any minute now.
For one full week, I ate only the kids’ leftovers for breakfast, lunch and snacks. (And completed the day with my own “sensible” dinner.) I took notes. Here’s how it went:
---------------------------- MONDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
Crescent moon-shaped blueberry waffle fragment
4 spoonfuls of apple sauce
1 sip Yoplait Kids banana yogurt drink
1 banana (see notes)
Lunch
Crust of one slice of leftover pizza
Four spoonfuls of corn
(Passed on babies’ contribution: Soggy stubs of two graham crackers)
Snack
1/4 powdered sugar donut
Monday notes: Fifteen minutes into the diet, I cheated. (Kinda like every other diet I’ve ever been on.) When Zoe didn’t leave enough breakfast scraps to curb my morning appetite, I peeled a banana and held it out to her. “You know I don’t like bananas, Daddy” she said. “Oh, really? I forgot. Guess I’ll have to eat it.” In retrospect, I should have saved my “cheat” for lunch. The donut was a special treat during a trip to the grocery store. Normally I would have told Zoe we had enough snacks in the cart, but I knew she wouldn’t finish a whole donut … and I love me some donuts. Sounds like a great diet so far, doesn't it?
---------------------------- TUESDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
3 soggy spoonfuls of Rice Chex cereal in milk
5 Graduates Sweet Potato Puffs (scavenged from high chairs)
Lunch
1/2 slice of cheese that didn’t fit on Zoe’s half sandwich
Dozen or so peas (again, from high chairs ... and a couple off the floor)
2 Wheat Thins crackers
2 spoonfuls of apple sauce
Crust of half sandwich (with a few shards of chicken left behind)
Snack
2 1/2 Ritz crackers
Tuesday notes: Zoe spit out the yellow Flintstones chewable vitamin on her plate at breakfast. (“It tastes like pizza,” she insisted. "Well, you like pizza," I replied. "Yes. But I don't like my vitamin to taste like pizza," she said.) Understanding her point, I gave her a red one and seriously contemplated eating the saliva-soaked yellow one, but didn’t. Given the same scenario at lunchtime, I’m pretty sure I would have.
---------------------------- WEDNESDAY ----------------------------
My “office day,” when I eat with, and like, adults. Cinnamon Pop-Tart from our little company store for breakfast (So maybe not entirely adult-like). Tuna on multi-grain and a bag of chips from the deli for lunch.
---------------------------- THURSDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
None (see notes)
Lunch
1/2 slice of cheese that didn’t fit on Zoe’s half sandwich
Crust of half sandwich (with a few shards of ham left behind)
3 spoonfuls of rice
2 Ritz crackers
3 green beans
Snacks
Three baby carrots
Small handful of shredded mozzarella (see notes)
Thursday notes: Day 2 of Busia’s weekly visit, when she gratefully allows me to sleep in a little. That's normally a very, very good thing. Today I was left craving some soggy, leftover cereal with my coffee. There were more green beans left behind at lunch … but I HATE green beans, so I passed. The mozzarella snack might be stretching the definition of “leftover.” Zoe topped the Boboli we were making for dinner and I ate the considerable amount of potential waste that ended up on the counter.
---------------------------- FRIDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
1/2 can of fruit cocktail
1 bite of pancake
Lunch
4 spoonfuls macaroni & cheese
3 broccoli stems (florets bitten off)
Snack
1/2 graham cracker
Friday notes: The fruit cocktail breakfast is a long-standing food-sharing agreement between Zoe and I. She gets what she likes (cherries and grapes) and I get the rest (pears and peaches). And a lunch admission: She rarely leaves any mac & cheese on her plate, so I kept spooning more servings until I was guaranteed at least a bite or two!
---------------------------- SATURDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
1/3 strawberry Nutri-Grain bar
Lunch
4 spoonfuls apple sauce
3 Ritz crackers
Crust of half sandwich
Snack
None
Saturday notes: Another sleep-past-breakfast day, but I was thrilled to find that getting-crusty bar still on the table when I came downstairs!
---------------------------- SUNDAY ----------------------------
Breakfast
2 spoonfuls Yo Baby peach yogurt
Lunch
3 chicken nuggets
2 spoonfuls of mac & cheese
Snacks
Banana (see notes)
Sunday notes: I think Sonja, who first learned the details of my soon-to-be-famous diet today, purposely made Zoe some extra chicken nuggets for lunch. What a gal! And that banana snack? Yeah ... same trick I pulled on Monday.
---------------------------- THE RESULTS ----------------------------
A Sunday night weigh-in showed a one-week weight loss of 4.5 pounds. I could disappear off the face of the earth if I kept it up for, like, 51 more weeks.
I'll have to sit down and figure out the cumulative cost of my typical weekly breakfast, lunch and snacks to get the monetary savings ... plus the cost of the food we might have otherwise thrown away. I'm quite certain I could retire by August and buy that little house in the Greek Isles I've had my eye on.
I’ll get right to that math after the producers call me to schedule my appearance on Oprah.
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6 comments:
hey \i work at a daycare and no one eats anything \i think your diet would fail there! And hey once the twins are eating good food....well look at me! \i had three kids too!! hhahahaha Aunt Shawnie
So,no wonder I never saw you eat anything. I always assumed you were on your way to the trash can with the leftover scraps. Had I known what you were doing, I would have fixed Zoe's cereal in one of your mixing bowls and fried up a couple steaks for the babies.
Hey Rich--- Do you think I can come and join your diet club with you???? I surely could use it.
Love Aunt Kathy
1/4 of one powdered sugar donut???
You are my diet idol.
I occasionally buy those (donut gems) and could sit and eat the whole bagful in two sittings. Heck I could eat the whole bagful before I even got to the checkout. Don't judge me though. I know some of your blog readers(the closet donut gems eaters) agree with me.
They just won't admit it publicly.
Fatty at Crooked Lk Ln
Congratulations on your 4.5 pounds. I have been on weight watchers for like 10 years and can still gain food just by looking at it.
Nice job with the banana trick...
I'm sorry, but the thought of all of those little morsels of half-eaten, half who-knows-what stuff is nearly enough to make me lose my dinner. Hey, maybe reading about your diet could help me lose some pounds - keep writing!!!
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