Holy Toledo!

Zoe, you and your parents have a full week off and some perfect summer weather. What are you going to do now? All together now... "I'm going to Toledo!"

So maybe it's not Disney World. Hell, it's barely Flint. But what Toledo does have is one of the best zoos in the country and the COSI science center. The span of stench and blight between them be damned. Oh yeah... did we mention it's only a 45-minute drive?

So let's start with our trip to the zoo and get the bad news out of the way. After a late bedtime and rough night of intermittent sleep at a hotel, we were up-and-at-'em early Monday morning. We figured even during peak summer vacation time, Monday morning at the zoo would be slow. We figured wrong.

The line to turn into the parking lot was at least a mile long. And stopped. About the time we pulled into formation behind the last car, Zoe started asking for milk. I should note that Zoe has never been much of a fit-thrower. In fact, I can't count the really big ones on one hand, with fingers left over. But on a Monday morning in a mile-long line of cars, she wanted milk. She wanted it now. And she didn't want to hear our lame ass excuses about not having any milk in the car or our lame assier plan to get some as soon as we got into the zoo. She screamed and cried inconsolably for waaaaay too long.

Once we got in the zoo, Zoe got her milk and the vacation started to gain some momentum. All three of us were pretty thin on patience, which was further tested by spending much of the next three hours doing this...

... standing in line. We stood in a line to buy tickets, stood in line for a 10-minute train ride through "Africa" and stood in line for lunch. Three tasks, three lines, three hours. I wanted to punch a Buckeye.

(Side story: I was standing near a guy in a Buckeye shirt at the monkey exhibit. One climbed up over the glass partition, grabbed onto a chain link fence like he was being frisked by cops and let a steady stream of urine flow toward the scattering people. I asked the Buckeye: "Kinda like being at The Horseshoe, ain't it?" He didn't laugh. That's OK, because I wasn't joking.)

Back to our regularly-scheduled blog entry: Things got considerably better after lunch. All three of us were in a better mood, the crowd slowly started to thin out and Zoe really started to like the animals.

We saw lots of them, from tiny butterflies that she thankfully didn't squash (she likes stepping on ants)...

... to an extra large momma elephant and her baby.

It is a very nice zoo. The exhibits are large, but the zoo is well planned with many strategically-placed viewing areas. You can get close enough to see the animals without getting that sick feeling in your gut because they're in such cramped quarters.

Zoe's favorite animal? Tough call. I'd go with either the small bird that kept sitting on momma elephant's back, the duck swimming in the otter's area, or the sparrow that kept swooping down to grab chips from beneath the table next to us during lunch. Maybe we could have saved a couple bucks and hit the Domino's petting farm again this summer and saved the zoo for next year? Nah.

After a long nap on a purposely circuitous ride back to the hotel, we were able to hit the pool together for a while:

And Daddy got some alone time in the water, too:

(Editor's note: I had that joke written while we were standing in the Hippoquarium.)

After a much better night's sleep, it was off to the COSI on Tuesday morning. We had a great time there. Here's Mommy and Zoe doing their best "Big" impersonation.

And making smoke circles...

Being on TV was pretty hilarious...

And Zoe was able to rock out a bit. I think she was playing Carey Says (Alright) by the Hard Lessons at this moment. (Yes, a shameless plug for a Detroit band I dig.)

Zoe threw herself into this station, which -- if you look closely -- is called the "Engineering Task." Guess she may be following in cousin Michael, Tammy and Marissa's shoes. (I guess Tammy and Marissa would be second cousins, but let's not split hairs. That happened at the "Barbering Task.")

Zoe's favorite COSI exhibit? Hands-down this crazy machine that shot drinkable water out any time you hold down a button. Mom and Dad are both too right-brained to explain the science behind it, but maybe her COSI experience will help Zoe "get" the stuff we don't later in life.

That's the plan, anyway.

With that, it's time to say "So long, pardner." Hope y'all are having a good summer, too.