WHAT HAPPENED TO MISS INDEPENDENCE

Nine days ago, we packed our mid-sized leased vehicle and pulled away from our middle-class home in our middle-America town with our timid, well-behaved little girl strapped safely into the back seat. The American Dream on America's birthday weekend.

Things would never be the same.

We returned in that same car to the same house in the same town Thursday night. But since then, we've been detoxing our daughter... who spent her summer vacation drunk on power, ordering beloved family around like they were Naomi Campbell's housekeepers. Back home, we've tried to calmly demonstrate that an emphatic point and an ear-piercing scream actually aren't the best ways to get what you want, even if they worked impeccably for five days in Newaygo and another in Bay City.

No hard feelings, though. We know that Honey and Papa and Shane and Shawn and Bill and Tommy and Michael and Alix and Sam and Sid and Danni and Busia and Dziadzia don't get to see Zoe often enough. It was fun to spend some time with them... and watch Zoe wrap each of them around her very little little finger.

THE TRIP
We tried something new and headed out Friday -- destination Newaygo -- at about 9 p.m., thinking Zoe would sleep the entire trip. It worked perfectly. She did. What we didn't plan on was her being wide awake when we got there at 11:30 p.m. Play time was in full effect... and it didn't stop for days.

First up was a Fourth of July Parade through downtown Croton. Three generations wait for the fun to start:

The highlight was the guy wearing only an American flag thong and mullett wig (at least I hope it was a wig) getting pulled behind a boat on a skateboard, as if he was water skiing the parade route. Zoe blew kisses to the guys driving their classic cars, but wasn't too fond of the fire department's blaring sirens.

The next day, we took Uncle Tommy's new boat on Croton Pond. I haven't seen a human being wear as many floatation devices since Dziadzia hopped on that pontoon boat on Spider Lake:

Zoe's a big water fan, so the boat ride -- and the slight mist splashing her face -- was a big hit. But once Uncle Tommy pulled down on the accelerator, she stuck her hands up in the air and waved them horizontally -- her baby sign for "all done." Once we slowed down, she obviously found the trip quite relaxing:


She got her fill of water in Honey's pool. She went twice, both times insisting on continuing to swim despite the shivers and her lips turning purple. She really likes to sit on the side of the pool and "jump" into daddy's arms.

The whole family headed to the deck of The Driftwood for dinner one night... a beautiful spot. All the attention was clearly giving Zoe a big head by this point. The baby I once knew would never pull the big-time move of eating dinner with sunglasses on:

But the spot Zoe spent most of her vacation was right here... on Danni's hip. They were inseperable. Zoe cried when Danni left the room. Heck... she cried when Danni put her down!

One trip to town included a simple agenda: Pick up supplies to celebrate Michael's birthday (Happy 21st Michael!). But when Zoe goes into a store with Honey and Aunt Shane, there's not a chance she's walking out empty-handed. Here she is with her new ball, crayons and bunny ears (which came with an adorable bunny book):

And when Zoe got tired amid the chaos of a room full of people and a floor covered in toys, she sought out Danni for a comfortable resting spot:

Next up was a short trip to Bay City. Busia and Dziadzia got shafted on time during this trip because we'll be hanging out with them at the end of the month... and because Mom had a dentist appointment scheduled for Friday morning.

So we got there Wednesday evening, just in time for dinner and a bath (no deuces in Busia's sink this time, thankfully!) and a quick walk around Dodson Court.

The next morning, Zoe headed out with Busia and Dziadzia to hang out at what once was Whittier School (not sure what it's called now). I thought it was cool that Zoe played on the same playground where I spent kindergarten recess and endless summer days playing baseball.

The vacation was supposed to end with a family dinner, but our car had other plans... the air conditioning clonked out. So while Dad searched for a dealership willing to make a quick fix (never realized the power of the "traveling with a baby" card), everyone else chowed down.

With daddy away, Zoe thought it was an opportune time to flirt with the waiter... blowing him kisses every time he passed by the table. She still found time, between kisses, to suck on a cob of corn and spit milk on the table. Dziadzia was forced to stick his head under the table at one point to avoid Mom's evil eye. That's another lesson we're still working on: Spitting food is not funny. Even when it kinda is.

THE END.

Thanks to everyone for their hospitality and the good times. If Zoe could see you right now, she'd blow you a great big kiss too.

P.S..... We didn't win the seven-year-old scooter. Or the chain saw. Or the cash. Damn.

P.S.S... These are the two winners in the 1-year photo contest. Order your copy now!

P.S.S.S.... I think we just set the record for longest post on this blog. If you're still reading: Thanks!